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    Just for Fun: Excerpts from both a Dog and a Cat’s diary

    I usually don’t post these types of things. PurpleMom forwarded me something from the email. Being that I come from a dog loving and cat not-loving family, I found it pretty funny.

    I have no idea who the original author is.

    Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

    6:00 am – At last! I Go Pee!
    My favorite thing!

    8:00 am – Dog food!
    My favorite thing!

    9:30 am – A car ride!
    My favorite thing!

    9:40 am – A walk in the park!
    My favorite thing!

    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted!
    My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm – Lunch!
    My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm – Played in the yard!
    My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm – Wagged my tail!
    My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm – Milk bones!
    My favorite thing!

    6:00 pm – They’re home!
    My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm – Got to play ball!
    My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people!
    My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed!
    My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
    tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe for now…

    Here is how I visualize the two animals:

    Flickr Credits: hurstjewelry and Conspiracy Hamster

    One Response

    1. LOL! So funny!

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