How to tell you are talking on the phone to much at work…

Me [Calling back a remote site on the phone]: Is Jane Doe available?

Receptionist: Yes. Are you her husband?

Me [without pausing]. No. I am her secret lover.

Receptionist [Uncomfortable silence]: Oh.

Me [Catholic guilt rising]: I am so sorry I said that. We are not lovers. [Pause] Not that I have anything against her. [Pause] Jeez, I can’t seem to stop talking.

[General laughter]

It was time for a break.