Robot News: Frank J.’s “Do No Robo-Harm” List

It is pretty darn funny!

* Make sure they all have prominent big red buttons on them that deactivates them.

* Never give them AI by merging the minds of different serial killers.

* Make them out of Nerf™.

* Have a limit of five weapons per robot.

* Never give them access to time machines.

* Don’t have their programming give them a hundred points per person they kill.

* Never make a robot monkey.

* No matter what excuses they give, don’t ever take off their restraining bolts.

* Install Vista on them so no killing spree can last longer than a few minutes without them needing to reboot.

* Make sure killbots have a preset killing limit.

* Put a big label on each robot saying, “Please Don’t Tease the Robot”.

He also has a LOL replacement version of Asimov’s Three Law of Robotics:

1. Only kill foreigners.

2. Give children hugs unless it conflicts with the first law.

3. Do the robot dance to entertain people unless it conflicts with the first and second law.

4. Do everything Frank J. says. Ignore all other laws.

Whoops; that last law was supposed to be hidden.

It is good to start out the weekend with a hearty laugh.


“Find Gort more hippies!”
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