• My Tweats

    • Flickr Photos

    Obamamania Satire – “He Ventured Forth To Bring Light To The World”

    This is a must read…

    And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

    The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
    […]

    …or listen to it read by the author (because everything sounds smarter with a proper British accent):

    Milwaukee News Item #2: Anti-Lawnmower Gun Violence

    An example of alienation from technology:

    A 57-year-old south side man, who might have been struggling with a
    hangover, was charged Friday with shooting his lawn mower with a
    sawed-off shotgun.

    “I’ll tell you the truth,” a criminal complaint quotes an apparently
    inebriated Keith Walendowski. “I got pissed because my lawn mower
    wouldn’t start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

    …and then the Journal reporter had some fun:

    Dick Wagner of Wagner’s Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave.in Glendale,
    said shooting the mower didn’t help Walendowski’s odds of getting it
    repaired.

    “Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty,” he said.

    Heh.

    Someday, Roomba-based lawnmowers might strike back!

    “Affection”

    Rachel Lucas: Thanks for the LOL!

    Youtube: Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed (Expelled parody)

    I found this via http://counterknowledge.com/?p=100 . It is good satire/ridicule.

    NSFW: Star Trek TNG Rap

    This is Not Safe For Work…but it is crudely funny on a stormy Saturday night (for the trekkie inclined).

    Found Via TV Squad.

    Time for a PurpleSlog Girl Song and/or Video

    Since I am a famous radio star now, it is only appropriate that like Barak Obama and John McCain that there be PurpleSlog Girl song and/or video.

    So blog-o-girls: get your creative juices flowing.

    It doesn’t matter if you are a good girl or bad girl.

    You may submit your entries by email or by posting a link in the comment.

    Thanks!

    Heh…this might actually work!

    [YouTube] When the robot uprising comes, our canine friends will be ready to help us…

    Just for Fun: Excerpts from both a Dog and a Cat’s diary

    I usually don’t post these types of things. PurpleMom forwarded me something from the email. Being that I come from a dog loving and cat not-loving family, I found it pretty funny.

    I have no idea who the original author is.

    Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

    6:00 am – At last! I Go Pee!
    My favorite thing!

    8:00 am – Dog food!
    My favorite thing!

    9:30 am – A car ride!
    My favorite thing!

    9:40 am – A walk in the park!
    My favorite thing!

    10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted!
    My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm – Lunch!
    My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm – Played in the yard!
    My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm – Wagged my tail!
    My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm – Milk bones!
    My favorite thing!

    6:00 pm – They’re home!
    My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm – Got to play ball!
    My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people!
    My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed!
    My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
    tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe for now…

    Here is how I visualize the two animals:

    Flickr Credits: hurstjewelry and Conspiracy Hamster

    Flickr Video Test: “Seniors Gone Wild”

    2 Funny Econ Video Snippets From YouTube

    You might find these videos funny (I did):

    Continue reading

    Check out this weird/funny photo of an ad…

    here!

    Overheard at Lunch at a Sushi Bar…

    …as I sat at a table of three woman in their early 30’s or late 20’s:

    “…so I told him no more pets until after we start having babies”.

    It strook me as funny.

    Sushi!

    For My Friend Eric: “Weird Al” Yankovic’s White & Nerdy

    The “One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song”

    I found video this via HotAir.

    This song reflects both my command of the Spanish language and my extraordinary success with Latinas!


    Here is a related funny song:

    Die lästigen Zeit Reisende!

    Es macht Ihrer Meinung.

    Alison Rosen’s “More Wrong Reasons to Get a Dog”…

    …are here.

    The first one is: “Because you are hungry”

    She is occasionally a guest on my favorite late night show – Red Eye.

    “I’ve always liked Dumbledore – just not in that way”

    A cautionary tattoo story.

    Not that there is anything wrong with it.

    Gerald Ford: Sexy, Erotic, Adult

    My employer’s web content filtering software was blocking a link to something on CNN about the new book on Gerald Ford.

    It was being blocked for being in the categories: Sexy, Erotic, and Adult.

    The secret life of Gerald Ford? Hmm.

    More Chad Vader: Chocolate Rain by Chad Vader

    Made in Wisconsin: The YouTube Adventures of Chad Vader

    The episodes are here on YouTube.

    Funny and Sad: How To Get a Baby Unicorn in Second Life

    You have to have sex with Adult Unicorns.

    Found via REDDIT and Boing Boing, the link also includes picture (screencaps I assume):

    One of the griffin-bugs actually reaches out to grab you if you sit on him, and he holds you in place as he rams you from behind. It’s frightening, morally wrong, and yet you just can’t look away for appreciation at how many hours it must have taken to get the programming just right.

    I have no idea what comment to write.

    Watch this “Behind the Scenes” video for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

    It is NSFW. Follow this link to the video.

    It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a funny/crude/absurd TV sitcom that appeals to my South Park sensibilities.

    For People Who can’t wait until 1/2008 for more episodes of 24…

    Watch this!

    The Crazy Eyed Pope

    Scott Adams picks up on the crazy eyes. Follow the link to the photo.

    Dance, Dance, Dance!

    Thanks Hot Air for finding this!