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    “Not even if I had been poisoned and the antidote was in your sperm”

    What has to be the funniest put-down line I have ever heard is in this short (heh) video clip found at TV Squad.

    Funny Print Ad: The Sequel to 1984

    The Sequel
    Uploaded to Flickr by purpleslog

    I Missed the Robot Chicken Star Wars Special on Sunday

    Luckily it is online. Watch it here!

    But If We Don’t Laugh Haven’t The Terrorist Evil-Doers Already Won?

    “A West Plains resident was arrested late Wednesday afternoon after it was discovered he had a golf ball-sized improvised explosive device in his pants.”

    Best Campaign Slogan Ever!

    “Booty for everyone!”

    Heh.

    Let Me Explain a Bit On The Clowns

    I should explain a bit on the clown thing.

    I sold cotton candy for what I am pretty sure was a Milwaukee mob guy at the Shrine Circus one week in Milwaukee while in high school.

    It was an interesting experience.

    I found the professional circus crowns to be really creepy. I didn’t like it when they were around. There didn’t do anything to me, they just gave me a bad vibe.

    So what? No big deal. Right?

    About 6 years later, while attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I got on a elevator with a friend at the Memorial Union to go up to the fifth floor were we worked.

    Two clowns got on the elevator also.There was some activity going on in the Great Hall which might have been on the third of fourth floor.

    I felt very uncomfortable in the cramped, enclosed elevator with two clowns (my friend was standing behind me…and was invisible to me now).

    Then the clowns started to try to engage me in conversation. They may have moved closer to me.

    I don’t remember everything, but my friend confirmed later that I threatened to beat the shit out of the clowns right then if they didn’t shut up and stay away from me. I am a pretty big guy so they clowns shut up quick.

    Okay, that really didn’t explain anything at all.

    Not a Great Moment For the Badger State…

    Scott Adams writes:

    Did you hear about the Wisconsin man who is charged with having sex with a dead deer that he found in a ditch?

    Oh my.

    It is a twisted and funny read.

    Example:

    I also wonder what the cop was thinking. If I were the cop, I’d be worrying that this would be the exact time I had a coincidental heart attack, rolled into the ditch, and became part of this guy’s threesome. This is why people like me do not become cops. I worry about all the wrong things.

    Update – Flickr helps with a visual:

    Favorite Reddit Snarky Political Comment by Purpleslog

    I snarked:

    I would prefer George Clinton to Hillary.

    Reminds Me of a Joke…

    I know this is serious…but all I could think of was the joke about the 2 hikers and the bear.

    Interesting, But Fake: Animal Photos

    Here is the link.

    An Oldie but a Goodie: A link to the The 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time

    The excellent/funny article is here.

    Rudolph TV Special Re-Imagined as a Mafia Story

    Weirdly Funny!

    Funny Video Link

    Heh.

    Robin Spakles – Let’s Go To The Mall

    Here’s her MySpace Page.

    Here’s the video on YouTube:

    The show How I Met Your Mother is one of my Top Ten TV shows – it is consistently funny! The video is a dark secret of one the character’s past from last weeks episode.

    Try to get Rid of this Ear Virus! Get out of my head!

    No thanks to AllahPundit!

    Maybe if I play it on my kazoo for awhile…

    Update: I give. The wordpress.com code keep fucking this up. I will add it below.

    <deleted>

    Update: It looks likes wordpress.com youtube embeds are broken. Here is the direct link.

    Update: WordPress.com was just fine. I wrote the post with the Performancing add-on fro Firefox. It screwed up the html. Itis all better now.

    One last try…

    I had to go into the “code” section of the qwrodpress.com editor and manually remove the manglings that wordpress.com was adding. I am not sure what is up with it.

    Update: And it is screwed up again. It look slike if I go into the editor for any reason, even if I don’t touch the youtube stuff, wordpress.com mangles it again. I will update from the “code” section.

    Golden Retriever Torture (in Photos)

    Here, here, and here.

    9/11 Jihad Joke

    I found this joke in a comment by Eli Blake at an Althouse post:

    Mohammed Atta, right after 9/11 shows up in what he thinks is heaven. George Washington walks up to him and beats the crap out of him. Coughing and sputtering, Atta drags himself to his feet and Patrick Henry comes up to him and beats him up again. This time it takes Atta a little longer to get up, but when he finally does, Thomas Jefferson is standing there and beats him up again.

    Atta sees Jefferson go to the back of a long line behind Washington and Henry, and in the line ahead of them he sees, among others, James Madison, James Monroe, Robert E. Lee and Woodrow Wilson– and they’ve all got a furious look on their face and a balled up fist. He looks up to heaven and asks, where his 72 virgins are. A voice thunders down and tells him he misread it. The verse was that he would get 72 Virginians.

    Testing Biometrics: “…attempts to use fake eyeballs will be immediately obvious and suspicious”

    Bruce Schneier wrote on biometric ID testing at London Heathrow:

    The system under trial at Heathrow is a good use of biometrics. There’s a trusted path from the person through the reader to the verifier; attempts to use fake eyeballs will be immediately obvious and suspicious. The verifier is being asked to match a biometric with a specific reference, and not to figure out who the person is from his or her biometric. There’s no need for secrecy or randomness; it’s not being used as a key. And it has the potential to really speed up customs lines.

    Sometimes words and phrases jump out at me as silent pleasures. Reading the phrases bolded above was one of those.

    Weirdness on the Internet: The Nietzsche Family Circus

    (ht REDDIT) Losanjealous.com presents The Nietzsche Family Circus.

    It randomly combines a cartoon image from the Family Circus cartoon with a quote from Nietzsche.

    Bonus Funny from the Family Circus wikipedia entry:

    It has also become common practice on Amazon.com for reviewers to mock the simplistic humor of Family Circus by pretending to read deep meaning into Keane’s silly puns and observations; other reviewers would then moderate these comments up, far beyond the regular comments made on the books, causing these to be the most prominent and highest rated reviews for the books [1]. Amazon has since purged some of the reviews for vulgar content, but for the most part, the Family Circus books on Amazon have a higher rate of false reviews than the rest of its catalog. This phenomenon has been seen to a lesser extent on other review sites, including Barnes and Noble [2].

    The RetroCrush Weird Al Interview (and Praise for Donny Osmond)

    The weirldy funny and nostaglic Retro Crush interviews Weird Al Yankovic.

    One of my buddies is a Weird Al…let say “fan”. I saw him in concert maybe 20 years ago at Milwaukee’s Summerfest grounds – He closed and killed with the Yoda song.

    The RetroCrush interview did hip me to the new Weird Al song :White and Nerdy” with special guest dancer Donny Osmond. Donny steals the video. Honest.

    Pop pop!

    Update: If the video disappears, search for it here.

    Rainy Saturday Links

    The Importance of Birth Order Debunked at Econlog

    The Shana Hiatt Blooper Reel

    Althouse: A fantasy scenario of trying Bin Laden A bullet to the head by the capturing American Infantryman works for me.

    Is the Thai Coup…a prelude to Islamization of Thailand?

    IEEE Spectrum Special Report: Unlocking the Terrorist Mind

    Peace Through Commerce at the FlowProject

    Muslim Brotherhood controls Al-Jizera? The Muslim Brotherhood is the best candidate for a large proto-5GW organization.

    Old 5GW posts at ChumpFish here and here.

    Possible 5GW Tactics: Culture Jamming and Memetic Engineering

    AmendmentNine on Moral War

    Live USB Hacking

    TV Zone: Five essential lessons from Grover

    MindStream: CyberIntel

    Bank Machine Hacking

    Marginal Revolution on the The phantom Tyler Cowen. Sounds a bit like the abstract OODA part of Phatic Communions Revised OODA.

    Here is the only link to something related to Paris Hilton I will every make (it is really about marketing and networking).

    TDAXP on Corporate Espionage One side effect of the blowback from the HP affair is that organization will get smarter about doing this sort of thing. I would see you will see hybrid enterprise consisting of Law Firms, and skilled intelligence folks. The doing it all through an outside law firm coordinated by the internal counsels gives legal cover. Also lots of money are at stake, so I see where corporate officers, accustomed to being told how smart they are will report to this.

    Shrinkwrapped on the UN

    Voting Machines Security

    Data Theft And Executives

    Top 20 Japanese Commercials (My favorite was the Cockroach vs the Samurai!)

    LGF: Another 9/11 Memorial Hijacked By Leftists

    We Don’t Need No Welfare State

    Offshoring Lawyers. Great – Lawfare will become cheaper. Not good.

    Lastly: Chapelle Show’s Jedi Knight Sex Scandal

    Enter The Jedi Squirrels

    I have a new desktop background for my computer.

    From YouTube –> How Superman:The Movie Should Have Ended

    (HatTip Reddit)

    “Duped by the Satanic Spirit of Mockery”: The Bizzaro World of Fred Phelps

    HotAir links to a YouTube video on the Bizzaro World of Fred Phelps in his own words. It should be a strange discussion. I kept thinking it was a weird parody. He also seems oddly fixated on Jon Stewart and Stepha Colbert – repeating their names over an over.

    The Yummy Military History Of Pie

    FromTheArchives has a Presenations on Pies that includes yummy slides like:

    West victorious in Pie Wars of 1637-1652, control Pie Trade through the present.

    Go read it. Its is funny.